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Awakened by warmth…
Two butterflies danced amongst the tiny smiling faces, and those of the parents clustered in our local church for their Primary School Harvest Thanksgiving ceremony.
Vaulted stained glass windows allowing bright sunshine to stream in, and with heaters on, and warmth provided by the multitude of bodies in situ, these sleeping winged beauties were woken up.
Flight enabled and wings at the ready, they danced from window to window, and caught my eye. Signalling to my nearby friend, my noticing.
“That’s so like you to have noticed” said my seated neighbour. I agreed, that likely yes, it was.
I had spoken to her Mother and Father in law prior to her arrival, people new to me, in ways. Yet also, entrenched in a past history of our village. It’s Post Office of old, and of the faces who inhabited its historical walls.
Telling of our lives and our children, growing fast on my part, or grown up, on hers. We spoke of how time flies, and how lucky we both are.
Talking of the light, and church held details, I told them of the Tiffany window at Fyvie Church. Having taken it for granted as a child, knowing nothing else… yet also, loving it so. Staring at it enraptured, during church trips with school or Sunday school as a Girl Guide helper. The light streaming through and making it appear alive. It remains still, and I often think of heading ‘homewards’ to visit the church, but mostly, its window, so as I can revel in it once more.
A beauty only truly pondered on, when reminded… A cause to remember. The act of not being taken for granted… and to have those of your everyday see how others see you. Your own nuance and wonder. Your presence. How you show up in the world, in the minds of others… Is something we must try to advise. Of ourselves, and of those around us. Details in life, and in who we are, should not be forgotten.
I also attended my Dundee University, Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art and Design, Class of 2001, 25 year reunion also in October, and the phrase “You’ve not changed a bit!” was uttered in plenty. To me, and by me. A beautiful day into evening with those who had been so present in my life many moons ago.
We saw works from some of our degree shows. Purchased by the university for its collection. Talking of the topics studied and how much the art college had changed, grown, evolved.
We ate together, enjoyed some drinks and took photos. Clustered together, just as we used to. A normalness, like family, comfort in these faces that graced so much of our life in those days and since.
A drive home, through darkest country roads of fife, and the richest conversations amongst. It was lovely. My friend driving me door to door, down roads so familiar to us both, and in a company of a friendship, so familiar also, even if we don’t see each other so often any longer.
There was such a comfort to be found in these moments. We all said so the next day. A kind of ‘home’ in who we are and who we were meeting. No awkwardness. Only delight.
My degree show itself, remains only in slide images taken from that week. A book also, handmade and handdrawn, each page. I found one of them, within my father’s possessions.
In the time since, I’ve loved having this reminder of who I was, and how people do still see me, remain.
Holding onto it. Finding hope in it.
There’s something to be said for feeling able to reassess and pin point the way forward, by being amongst your past. Like an affirmation… or indeed, a reaffirmation.
Ever onwards, I’ll continue. All the while, being wholeheartedly, and unapologetically… ME!
~ Jenna
