-
I have been working on a new body of work, talking of the night, and of the way the light of the moon… the stars… the aurora, makes us witness the natural world. I have limited my colour palette, and in doing so, a feeling is being created… lending itself to a story told. Words always are a part of my work, the exist alongside one another; knitting and stitching it all together. I look forward to telling you all of it as the weeks continue.Last week I drove up to Aberdeenshire, and these are the words which came to me upon that day. An ode to my Mum…“S T A Y F O R E V E R
A hint of a rainbow. Strengthening and fading, as the light hit the raindrops. Precipitation held in ever changing earnest, enriching the sky…
Brighter. Stronger. Lessening… Much like the days since you left.
Some grey and some splashed with an undulating sense of sunshine that lifts and rises like a bird on a thermal. Falling when the air settles. Ground seeking.Even now, four years on, I shake my head at the fact you are not here. For you are… and you aren’t. All at once.
Stopping to lay flowers where you lay. Snowdrops in bloom. Solemn and gentle. Nodding in acknowledgement, in hilltop breeze, at my presence. Staying to talk to you. Of you. For you. Tears shed alone. Only me in the woodland.
Onwards to pass home. Stopping as skylarks spotted. Rising from field. A flitter of wing, whirring in vertical lift. As they do… then song ascending. A pair in chorus duo. Eyes closed to take in their melody.
Then to see a best friends new home. A work in progress, much like my life. Always aiming, and finding new treasures. Moss growing where walls once stood proud. Resting gently. Softening the edges and as if holding together. A bosie of sorts. Comforting and absorbing. Natures acoustics drawn in. A silent beauty.
A place with history yet to be known. Maps to find. And to study. To figure it all out. We heard long tailed tits singing below us. Synchronistic and a delight.
I drove home, passing a crow with twig in beak, nest making. Two red kites. Sky high and swirling together. Birds in circular mass, spherical, and moving in synchronized motion, as I crossed the Tay Bridge back to Fife. From the corner of my eye, to right, and then descending beyond my range of field. Towards waters edge.
Then home. Placing my key in the door, and knowing no-one was home. Turned on heel and walked in darkness. Words and the day in my head. Placing it all together. With a gap where you were.
I miss you Mum. So very much. I always will. Yet, I know who you were in my life, you still are… and always will be.
You will
Stay forever.
Your Jen x”
-
