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At work the last few days, everyone asked, “how did you manage to keep it a secret??”
My reason, because if I spoke about it, over and over, across all my training, I’d have cried all along the way!!! So much was bound up amongst it… I didn’t want to jinx it by telling it all along the way.
From July until last Sunday, my nerves were so on the brink. It wasn’t until I was actually THERE, and at the beginning of the race… I said, to myself, and to those around me (4 Scottish girls, strangers until that moment, all lined up, at the start ljne…) ‘We just have to enjoy it! There’s nothing else for it eh?!’
So this moment, at the end, just after collecting my medal, is such a special memory. I was giddy. I was incredulous. Yet, at every point, somehow, I think deep down I always believed. That I would. That I could.
My Mum was always my supporter. So proud and encouraging. As children, my brother and I were always given the chances to try the activities we wanted to let in to our lives.
For me, music, and girl guides. Art projects. Outdoor play. Horse riding. Pets galore. Public speaking. Helping at children’s groups and with luncheon clubs for the elder generation in Fyvie. I was always very pro active, and I was always allowed to be so.
Nothing was too much. Nothing was unachievable.
I guess that has stayed with me… and I hope, I also, encourage my own children that nothing is impossible. You can be whoever you want to be.
It’s ‘just’ running… but also, we ALL know, it’s so much more than that. Its joy and graft, and perseverance and quiet. Its power and vitality, wonder and growth. Its self confidence and belief, mindfulness and so so so many moments. All bundled up, and then taken with you, to a start line…. And then, ultimately, to a finish line.
A medal is like the recognition of all of that.
Like the running… ‘just a medal’. But to us, we know what was poured into it.
And so… I run. I hope I always will.
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